How can I help my child to fit in?

Sue doesn’t want to get up, get dressed, finish her food and literally drags her feet in the morning so there is not too much time to ‘hang around’ before school starts. Break time is a nightmare.

When a day starts with: “Mommy, I have a sore tummy''. Stop and listen, your child needs you to hear what she is not saying. She doesn’t say it because she doesn’t know what it is, but she is feeling sad, afraid, left-out, abandoned, alone, frightened or one of many other emotions that goes hand in hand with a dry mouth and a sore tummy.

“Mommy, I have a sore tummy'' is the universal code name for ''HELP ME''.

Yes, it might be due to what she ate last night, but if a sore tummy appears regularly stop in your tracks, and ask yourself:
  • Does a sore tummy only ‘appear’ in the morning? 
  • Does your child drag his/her feet before school?
  • Any tears before school?
  • Does the lunch box come back unopened?
  • If you drive past the school during break time, is she on her own?
  • What is her friend’s name?
The digestive tract (tummy) and the brain have a very delicate relationship, if the one is unhappy, the other one echoes it. You may have experienced it for yourself? when the heart is happy, the tummy smiles too; when the tummy is happy the thinking is clear, but when the heart is sad, thinking becomes cloudy and a dry mouth and a sore/ tight/ constipated/runny tummy follows.
  • A hug a day keeps a sore tummy away.
  • Encourage looking at others when they are talking.
  • Say hello, please and thank you.
  • Encourage listening, discourage interrupting.
  • Enrol your child in a group activity – pottery, dance, soccer.
  • Ask the teacher to identify and pair her during class activities with a child who is also looking for a friend.
  • Attend school functions, mingle and make new friends. Children look-and-learn from you.
  • Arrange play dates.
Start each day with these two confidence boosting and tummy soothing Mind Moves.

Mind Moves Massage
Firmly trace her silhouette from top to toe, and plant her feet firmly on the ground while saying: I am a friend magnet. Massage her silhouette at least three times.

Rise & Shine
Stand behind her (she needs to face the world) and ask her to take a deep breath and give herself a tight hug.  Give her a bear hug. A slow deep breath with every big hug.